Why I shouldn't try to be a plumber...

And here's a funny story to make you laugh...although I wasn't laughing much last night since it was happening to me...but it is pretty funny and hopefully will stay funny rather than tragic.

The fill valve in my toilet needed to be replaced. So I went to Home Depot and bought a new one. I stopped the water supply and drained the tank. So far, so good. I couldn't get the valve undone from the water hose, so I was stuck. I needed to two pairs of hands...one to hold the existing valve in place and the other to turn the hose off the valve. Enter Jacqui. We try and try and try. Still can't get the hose off the valve. So Jacqui says, well since we don't need the old fill valve, let's just break it off and it'll slide through the bottom. Which it does...but we still can't get the valve off the hose. It's only about six or seven inches long, so we're bending down trying to get leverage on this hose that is quite mobile and causing me great frustration. So I'm looking at the water shut off valve and see that it slightly extends from the wall and I have the bright idea to turn it and see if we can take it off the wall and get it off that way. Yeah, see where this is going?? I only shut off the water to the toliet...not the main water valve. (If there were a gushing water smiley...this is where it would be inserted.) It was literally like something you would have seen on "I Love Lucy". Jacqui immediately asked where the main water valve was and I DID NOT KNOW! So she ran down immediately while, I tried to push the cover back on the pipe. In the meantime the valve would be opened while I tried to fix it and so rushing water was flying all over the bathroom and out into my bedroom reaching as far as my bed! I finally got it closed again and by then Jacqui found the main valve and shut it off. But there was a lot of water on my floor and I was freaking out. All I kept thinking was that I'm trying to sell my house and now I'm going to have all this water damage. We got the water dried up and headed to Home Depot to buy a better wrench and maybe a new water hose. We talked with an HD guy and he put a new scare in me that I may have broken the pipe, maybe broken the pipe behind the wall and I felt like I was going to throw up. He gave me some PVC glue incase it was still leaking and we went on our way. About an hour later....I tell you, plumbers are probably worth every penny...we got the fill valve installed. We turned on the water again, the tank filled up and there was no water leaking from the wall or the hose...so for now I'm cautiously optimistic....

Poor Lee. He called after we got back from Home Depot and I was freaking out on the phone with him. He kept trying to reassure me that it wasn't that bad and that if I needed to go behind the wall, it wasn't a big deal. WASN'T A BIG DEAL?!? Easy for him to say. Anyway, he kept trying to get me to smile or laugh and I was to the put where I was laughing and crying at the same time. As of this morning, still no excess water anywhere.

Regardless I had one hell of night and one that I do not wish to repeat. EVER.

This message has been brought to you by "The Committee to Keep Elaine From Plumbing Catastrophes"